so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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