I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
