my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
