I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
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