i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I just found a bag of teeth...
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
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