You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
