Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
