ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
Randomize
