How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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