I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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