38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
