absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
