we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
We have so much sex to catch up on
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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