That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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