No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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