seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Randomize
