hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i would punch a child for taco bell
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
