Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
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