hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
