he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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