btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize