wat bout pragnant strippers??
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Randomize
