Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Shame - the story of my life.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
