Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
