He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Randomize
