Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize