I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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