Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
