She's JV to your varsity
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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