Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
