We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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