if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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