Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
