At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
