wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
