Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Randomize
