I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
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