Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
