In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Rumble strips road head = magical
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
