I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
