I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
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