ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
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