I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
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