Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Randomize
