I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
