Already got asked if we're dating
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
