I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
