Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
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