She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Why can't burritos get me drunk
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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