It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
Randomize
