life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
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