Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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