That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Randomize
