last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
My breasts were aching with rage.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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