don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I think people are normalizing furries
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
