my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
