you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Randomize
