woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
