found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
