I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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