Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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