Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
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