Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
