apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
