You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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